Continuing My Journey of Drawing from the Darker Side of Life'''...

Those of you who have been following this blog (especially in the last couple of months) will be familiar with this image and the snippet of the song it comes from...

"I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me.

Or am I even in its mind at all?

Perhaps I'll get a chance to look ahead and see.

Soon as I find myself a crystal ball..."

- From Styx album "Crystal Ball"

...and my worries that if I did find a crystal ball and gazed into it, I might find a wheelchair staring back at me.

Well, after being examined by a 2nd neurologist, and the results of another MRI of my cervical spine and head, the doctors have ruled out Multiple Sclerosis, Lou Gehrig Disease, cancer and a host of other worrisome possibilities. So, what was causing all my problems? Myelopathy which is caused by some kind compression on the spinal cord itself, inside the spinal column. In my case, the compression is happening in the cervical region (neck), and yes pressure on the spinal cord in that area can affect your legs and feet.

What does this mean? Well for starts, she strongly encouraged me to continue my effort to get long term disability having seen my limitations firsthand and how much they affect me. Hearing this was reassuring in many respects and the weight of self-doubt and guilt that I wasn't pulling my weight and working, has been lifted from my shoulders. (Yes, I'm one of those people who keeps driving themselves, even when everyone else, especially the ones closest to you, are pointing this fact out to you on a regular basis). 

And besides helping reassure me that I should be trying for long term disability, she also recommended I try some more Physical Therapy with someone who specializes with people having neurological-physical issues. 

                                    

I readily agreed to this and saw the physical therapist a week or two later. And I'm very glad I did. The exercises the therapist showed me, have helped me with some of my balance issues, and I've been able to move around with a little more confidence, and less fear of falling. I'm not out of the woods completely on that front, but it's nice to feel a little more stable once more.

But, I'm still having serious trouble being on my feet for very long, before my l-foot and leg start going numb. There's also a good amount of pain that accompanies this, and part of my r-foot is developing more of the same numbing effect that started in the left foot over a year and a half ago. 

So, is a wheelchair in my future? At this point I don't know and neither does anyone else (including my doctors). Only time will tell, or maybe I will finally run across a crystal ball. And if I do find one, maybe I'll screw up my courage and take a peek. Because as part of the refrain of the Styx song "Crystal Ball" goes...

    

My heart is aching, 

my body's aching, 

and I don't know where to go.

Tell me, tell me, won't you tell me?

I've just got to know!

Until next time, keep writing my friends.

PS: I know I'm supposed to be talking about drawing from life for your writing, but I'm sure just reading what I wrote today, any of you could easily see how much material there is to use in a story. Let's face it, our various characters come from many different walks of life, and they face unusual situations all the time. So is there anything you read today in this post, that you could have one of your characters dealing with? And if so, how would they react to some of the prospects I'm facing. What would be going through their minds? You tell us, after all, you're the one telling the audience the story. 

Good luck!

TO BE CONTINUED...